


Truth Serum, Also known as Free Scotch.

by mybffbatman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Drunk Tony Stark, Feelings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybffbatman/pseuds/mybffbatman
Summary: Tony gets drunk and gets honest."I'd dedicate a song to you on the radio if they still did that"
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark & Sam Wilson & Clint Barton & Bruce Banner & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 188





	Truth Serum, Also known as Free Scotch.

"But are you sure you don't want to come?" 

Tony had a way with words, but there were no amount of sweetly sung out sentences that would convince Steve he wanted to awkwardly stand around a hole in the wall bar on the east side of town watching Tony get drunk and fondled by half dressed women, making an ass out of himself and the people around him. 

"I'm sure" Steve mused over his coffee mug, watching carefully as Tony smoothed his blue suit jacket over his chest. "Tell me again why you're going to this thing?"

"Steve." Exasperated Tony spun on his heel, planting his palms firmly on the kitchen island and eyeing Steve from across it. "Do you even pay any attention to me when I talk?" Tony knew the answer to that one, Steve knew the answer to that one.

"Sometimes too much-"

"Then how did you miss the part where I said I was going out to support my friend-"

"More of an acquaintance really-"

Tony waved off Steve "A soon to be friend, then." he corrected "That I'm supporting in his entrepreneurial endeavor."

"Are we talking about that girls boyfriend again?" Clint rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. 

"Her name is Anna." Tony said, glaring at the archer. 

"Her name is irrelevant." Clint replied, sliding onto a stool next to Steve. "Why are you even going to her boyfriends bar opening, is it?"

Tony straightened himself up, lifting his chin "Well Barton some of us are welcome into public establishments still and-"

"And he feels bad for nearly killing her." Steve cut in, smirking at Tony before taking a sip of his coffee. "and so when she asked him to be the celebrity guest for her boyfriend's grand dive bar opening he just couldn't refuse."

"Why do I tell you anything." Tony grumbled.

"Ah Right." Clint nodded. "The little office explosion incident. That poor girl, no wonder you cycle through receptionists like shirts."

"Hey It's not like anyone was harmed-" Tony protested

"Just your ego." Steve tried to sound sympathetic but his poorly hidden smile ruined any chance he had. "And now Pepper won't let you into your own office without a full metal detector scan."

"One time." Tony spoke to the ceiling simply annoyed with the current situation "You accidentally forget explosives in your pocket one time." He pushed himself away from the island, checking his watch for the time. "Anyways, I'd love to stay and chat but-"

"-But you're going to be late for your pity party?" Clint finished for him, lifting his hand for a high five from Steve, that he certainly was not going to get.

"I'm going to bury you in the middle of Central Park and no one is going to find you for days." Tony narrowed his eyes at the archer, before turning a softer gaze onto Steve. "Are you sure you don't want to come be my date tonight?"

Steve could barely resist those big brown eyes, or his usage of the word _date_ , but no, he still had no desire to go, no matter how tempting being Tony's date was. "I'm sure, Tony." He slid himself off the stool, leaning over to put his now empty cup into the sink. "I've got a lot of training to catch up on tonight."

"Fine." Tony all but whined. "Suit yourself party pooper Rogers." He smoothed the fabric of his jacket over one last time before heading out the door, but not before calling out behind himself. "don't say I didn't try to get you out and living."

Steve frowned as he watched Tony walk away. "I'm not a party pooper."

"Aw, it's okay cap." Barton clapped a hand over his shoulder. "There's always gotta be one pooper in the group."

"I'm going to help Tony bury you."

**\------**

Tony wasn't sure what time it was, or how long he had been there. The perk to being the celebrity guest was the free drinks. Anything to keep him happy while hordes of party goers tried to get their own selfie with him. Tony wasn't going to complain either way, not after nearly killing the poor girl, this was the least he could do for her boyfriend. But he definitely appreciated the free scotch. Or at least, he had been. Tony wasn't sure how long he had been at the party, a while for sure. But he was unsure if it was a drunk while, or a regular time while Time was such a weird concept, that really only a sober mind could understand. And Tony, was not sober, as he leaned up on the side of the bar, half to look cool half because he wasn't sure if his legs still worked. 

Too many free scotches.

More time passed before a girl pouring out of her dress slid up against him, she smelt of cheap vodka and vanilla, and had begun shouting into his ear over the music in the bar. "Want to take me home?" she had asked, and normally, Tony would have some sort of shotgun answer. On a regular day he'd thank her, compliment her, and still manage to send her packing, but this time he had nothing while he stood there blank. A telltale sign he was officially too drunk.

Game over, he was cutting himself off.

Instead of giving any sort of answer, he simply slid himself away from the bar and away from her grasp, the girl didn't seem to even notice as she fell into the spot that Tony had been in only seconds before, and turned her attention on the new person beside her.

That wasn't so bad, Tony thought to himself as he took a few experimental steps. So far, his legs were working fine, now he needed to find an exit. Carefully, or not - honestly Tony wouldn't really know how he looked - he moved around the bar, stepping around people until he found a hall, leading him past the bathrooms and behind a door labels EMPLOYEES ONLY. It was quieter in this room, and immediately Tony could feel his ears ringing, and knew he needed to go home.

Fumbling in his pocket he pulled out his phone and squinted into the bright light of the screen, opening his most recently sent text messages and selecting the first number at the top of his screen.

It barely rang twice before it was answered.

"Tony?"

"Cap't Gorgeous!" Tony excitedly slurred - the lips were not working as nicely as his legs had.

"How drunk are you right now?" was all the reply he got.

"On a scale of one to a lot? Probably a lot."Tony grinned into the phone, leaning his back against the cool wall. There was an audible sigh on the other end of the phone, which prompted Tony to continue talking, though it absolutely comes out more as a plea for help and less like a question "Can you come get me? Please?"

"It's fine Tony.' He wasn't sure but he would bet 100 dollars right then and there that Steve was smiling, he could hear it in his voice. It was unmistakable Even drunk, Tony could pick up on those things. "I'm on my way."

"Back door." Tony spoke as he spotted the rear exit. "Of the bar- I will be waiting."

It didn't take long for Steve to get there, or maybe it did. Tony wasn't really in the business of telling time at that moment. He managed to get outside, and the cool air had kept him awake long enough for Steve to arrive. He grinned wide as he could as he spotted the super soldier pulling up in one of Tony's many expensive sports cars. "Do you know how hot you look driving this thing?" he asked as he swung open the passenger side door, barely waiting for Steve to come to a stop. "My Hero-"

Steve's reply was a roll of his eyes, waiting for Tony to buckle his seat belt, before checking his mirrors and pulling out of the alleyway. "How much did you have to drink?" and tony could tell Steve was trying his damnedest to not sound patronizing. 

"Too much." Tony fully admitted, letting his head press back into the head rest and roll to the side so he could look at Steve. "All there was to do was drink- Drink." the word felt funny in Tony's mouth. "I didn't have a very fun time."

"No?" Steve stole a quick glance before looking back at the road. "Don't tell me there weren't at least 50 different women trying to take you home tonight."

"There was." Tony almost pouted at the admission, being drunk sucked, it made his mind loose, his filters disappear and the walls and departmentalized self instructions he had set for himself vanish. "It just made me miss Pepper." he sighed, words that he barely could manage to tell Rhodey. Sure it had been months since they had actually broken up, and things were getting better but for some reason, drunk Tony really missed her. "I think I've sworn off women for a while." He slapped his hands onto his thighs, as if punctuating his decision, feeling the denim of his jeans beneath his palms. "And believe it or not, there were like no hot guys in there for me to take home, just straight boring ones."

Steve coughed to try and hide the fact he had just choked on his spit, Tony smirked knowing full well what had just happened, he may have been drunk but he was not stupid. The wide eyes that were now staring at the road also gave Steve shock away.

"What?" Tony asked, leaning over to get closet to Steve in his seat "Does the thought of me with a guy bother you good Captain? Against your moral code? Turn you on?"

Steve furrowed his brow glancing at Tony, if only to reassure him his answer was sincere "No." He stated, focusing back on the road entirely. "I just didn't realize you.."

"-I like cock?" Tony finished the sentence with a shrug, oblivious to how red Steve was beginning to turn next to him. "Love is love, Sex is sex." Tony waywardly moved his hand in front of him trying to articulate "I just like getting laid Rogers, get with the times." 

"I think this is the first time I've met drunk honest Tony." Steve was trying so hard to change the subject. He had met drunk Tony before, everyone had, but honest Tony, well that was an entirely new level, one he hadn't visited any time recently.

"I'm always honest." Tony blurted, as he reached over and placed his hand on Steve's thigh, for no other reason then to be touching him while he drove. "Drunk Tony just likes to talk." he nearly whispered that part, leaving over once again as far as the constrains of his seat belt would allow him, right into Steve's space.

"Sober Tony does too." Steve swallowed hard, ignoring the hand on his leg, and the fact that Tony was in his space, smelling like booze. They came to a stop light and Steve looked over at the brunette, dark brown eyes staring at him, inches from his face. He was close enough to make out the golden flecks dotting the doe eyes, even for as drunk as he was, he still looked alert, and gorgeous.

"Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" Tony's breath was awful, and Steve couldn't help but laugh at the compliment.

"Tony." Steve warned, "You're so drunk." 

"Your eyes, man." Tony continued, as if Steve had said nothing. "I don't think I've ever seen that color blue before, and I've seen a lot of blue in my life." 

Funny how Steve was just thinking the same thing about Tony's eyes. Thankfully the light flashed green in front of them, and he was able to turn his attention back onto the drive back.

"You're eyes are so beautiful." Tony sighed to himself. "And your jaw, you look like you've been sculpted out of marble." Finally he leaned back into his own seat, but did not bother removing the hand from Steve's lap. "You are so gorgeous" he idly began to move his fingers against Steve's jeans, in no real pattern, tracing shapes his mind made, looking out the car window as he spoke, no, confessed. 

"Like I used to hate you and I think that's just because you are so pretty, but then I realized you're _prettier_ than everyone but _everyone_ likes you. It was just because I was jealous." He paused, Steve was about to ask if he was about done, but was quickly silenced when Tony let out an unprompted laugh."Fuck you're so gorgeous. I love looking at your muscles, and those big hands." Tony's eyes slipped shut for a minute as if he was picturing it in his head. "I think about your hands and that disproving look you give me Sometimes, it's so sexy I-"

"Tony." Steve wanted it to come out firm, a request to stop, but it was more of a croak, he looked over at his friend, because that's what they were, friends, he wanted to appear stern, but had clearly failed because all he got back from Tony was a beaming smile.

"Yeah." Tony exclaimed, pointing a finger from the other hand at Steve's face. "That's the look I was talking about."

Steve couldn't help himself as he laughed shaking his head, embarrassed, and silently thanking God that they were turning into the underground parking of the tower now. He needed to get up and move, and maybe drink some cold water, at the very least a change in topic and get Tony's hand as far away from his lap as possible. "Look at that, we're home."

"Home" Tony hummed, finally removing his hand from Steve's lap. "You know I might need some more help."

"With what?" Steve asked as he threw the car into park and shut off the engine. 

"Getting upstairs." Tony clicked off his seat belt, before pushing the car door open, but hesitating to step out "My legs feel like jello."

Steve liked to think himself a good friend, and as much as he really wished he could hide away in his room he knew he couldn't be the one to just ditch Tony in the elevator, and hope J.A.R.V.I.S. got him up in one pieces. So he moved around the car in a few quick strides, helping Tony out and to his feet. "I guess, Since you asked so nicely." 

He was about to hook himself under Tony's arm, when instead Tony reached out and wrapped his arms around Steve's elbow, holding on for dear life while leaning into his side. "You smell so good Steve."

Steve looked down at their arms intertwined and smiled. "And you smell like alcohol, Tony."

Tony barked out another laugh, stepping towards the elevator with Steve's help. His head was fuzzy and light and he felt like he could go dancing as well as go straight to bed at the same time. "You're so nice to me Stevie."

Steve called the elevator, the doors sliding open almost immediately, he would take a wild guess that a certain AI was helping him out. He stepped inside, dragging Tony in with him, and pressing the button for the penthouse. "You're my friend Tony, I'm always going to be nice to you."

The elevator whirred to life, and Tony rested his head against Steve's shoulder, contently sighing as he did. "I owe you one, big time for tonight." 

Steve smiled down at the top of Tony's head, he had to give it to him, drunk or not he was damn cute. "No you don't." He resisted the urge to run his fingers through the brunettes hair, it still smelled of shampoo, and looked soft and fluffy, and so touchable.

"Are you sure?" Tony's voice went low, looking up at Steve through his eyelashes, eyes dark and serious. "I can really make it worth your while."

Thankfully the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened revealing Tony's floor. "Let's get you to bed." was all Steve could say, urging him out of the elevator.

"I didn't take you for the direct type Cap." Tony teased, still hanging on to Steve to make it to the penthouse door. "I figured you'd wine and dine me and then woo me into bed."

"Woo you?" Steve asked as he turned the handle, allowing the door to open wide into the personal home of Tony Stark. Now all he needed to do was get Tony in bed, and he could leave knowing the engineer was safe, and sound, and he had done good by a friend.

"Yeah-" Tony seemed to be in a bit more control of his own legs, by the time they made it into the penthouse, still he hung on to Steve but used his own legs to direct them both towards his bedroom, kicking his shoes off as he moved. "You know, Woo me, like buying me flowers and dedicating songs to me over the radio." Tony pushed open his bedroom door, finally loosening his grip of Steve's arm before asking, "Do they do that on radios anymore?"

Steve shrugged, leaning into the door frame, as Tony carried on into his own room. He figured he'd watch, just to make sure Tony was okay. "You'd honestly know more about that than I would." Steve crossed his arms against his chest and held back a laugh as Tony came to a stop, as if finally realizing Steve wasn't beside him anymore.

"I'd dedicate a song to you on the radio if they still did that" he said as he turned around, eyeing Steve over, his brown eyes slowly dragging up all of Steve, and it made the blonde feel a little warm and a little exposed. "You know-" Tony said cocking his head to the side, allowing his voice to drop. "When you stand like that, with your arms crossed and all-" he waved his hand around trying to convey a message "I just strip you naked and ride you."

"Jesus Tony!" Steve immediately dropped his arms, feeling heat rise up his neck, there was no way in hell his face wasn't bright red, Tony noticed, because he threw his head back and laughed.

"Seriously Steve, check yourself out once in a while." Tony was still laughing as he pulled his jacket off his arms, and losing his footing in the process, tumbling sideways for a few steps before catching himself on his bed. "You're so cute." he mumbled to himself, tossing the jacket to the floor and yanking at his shirt, getting it halfway up before catching it around his face and sent him stumbling again.

Steve cleared his throat trying to ignore the intrusive thoughts that filled his mind up. Watching the way Tony pulled his shirt up, exposing his tanned, very toned stomach, and it just about made Steve forget how to breathe - but then Tony - with his arms stuck above his head groaned for help and it snapped Steve out of it."Here-" he sighed as he stepped into the room, hooking his fingers under the fabric of the stuck shirt and yanking it over the others head, allowing it to join Tony's jacket on the floor.

"I thought I was a goner." Tony looked up at Steve, wearing a very serous worried look, and Steve didn't doubt that he actually felt that way. "Steve, I think I need to go to bed now." Tony reached down next and fumbled with his belt buckle, getting it and the top button of his jeans undone just enough yo shove them off his hips.

Steve averted his eyes and took a step away from Tony, relieved when he caught a glimpse of boxer shorts in his peripheral "Yeah that's probably a good idea." He rubbed the back of his neck stepping back towards the door, watching as Tony crawled into his bed.

"Hey Steve?" Tony yawned, pulling the blankets over himself. "I really like you."

"I know." Steve smiled, reaching for the light switch once he reached the doorway again, flicking it off "I like you too, Tony." He heard a grunt in reply and closed the door behind himself.

"Hey Jarvis?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Uh, let me know if he needs anything, alright?"

"Affirmative, Captain."

**\------**

"Well well well." Natasha paused, mid step in front of the opening elevator doors. She placed a hand on her hip, giving Steve the once over "Where are you coming in from when it's almost light outside?"

Steve offered her a smile, stepping out of the lift onto the main shared floor. "Tony asked me to pick him up from that bar he was at." He gave a one shoulder shrug, heading past the super spy towards the kitchen. "He went and got himself too drunk to find his way home."

"Huh." She turned on her heel, following Steve as she spoke. "That's a lot less exciting than I was hoping for."

"Sorry" And Steve almost sounded genuine. "I wish I had more exciting things to share, but all I've got is a drunk Tony."

"Sometimes drunk Tony can be exciting." She offered, watching as Steve opened the refrigerator. He grabbed a bottle of water out, offering it to Natasha who shook her head, before twisting off the lid and downing it in two consecutive gulps. He went in and grabbed a second bottle before letting the fridge door close. "A little dehydrated there, Steve?" Natasha raised an eyebrow, looking at the empty bottle to the full bottle that Steve held. 

"Uh - Yeah." Steve still felt flushed, and could only hope he was hiding it better than he thought he was. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to get Tony's words out of his head, let alone the pictures those words put there. He gave his head a tiny shake, twisting off the lid of the second bottle. "It's just been a long night is all."

"Want to talk about it?" Natasha had a certain finesse with words, she could frame something as a simple question and in reality make it sound like a demand. One you would be stupid to deny. It made sense, she didn't get to become one of the worlds greatest secret assassin spies on her looks alone. Steve knew this and yet every time he would fall into her trap, not this time.

"It's nothing" He hesitated with the words, not sure how to say it all out loud. "I'm just not used to seeing Tony that drunk." Lying through his teeth - sort of - but he didn't really want to talk to anyone about what was just said to him. Tony was drunk, very drunk. There was a very huge, very likely possibility that Tony wouldn't even remember what he said or did. He also didn't need to concern his team mates with personal matters, or non-matters for that matter. 

Natasha's brows twisted up in confusion, not a look she often wore. "Have you not met the guy?" She leaned her hip into the counter beside her as she asked. "Or is he like alcohol poisoning drunk?"

"Nearly if I had to guess." Steve rolled his eyes, "But I'm sure he will be fine." He tossed the empty water bottle into the recycling, killing time and trying to come up with the right words. "It's just the drunkest I've ever seen him." _and the most blunt, honest sexually charged I've ever seen him too_ , but Steve decided to leave that part out of his conversation with the Widow. 

"Guess he had a fun at what's-her-faces boyfriends party." Natasha pushed herself away from the counter. "I'm going to get some sleep Cap, try not to stay up too much longer worrying about Tony."

"I won't." Steve called after her as she walked away. He wouldn't be worrying about Tony, not tonight, but he might be _thinking_ of Tony, alone in the privacy of his own room.

**\------**

Tony felt like ass. No, that was an insult to ass. Tony felt like week old garbage left outside in the middle of a New York blizzard, only to be defrosted and nibbled on by the rats. Tony felt like he was going to die. He tried to crack open an eye, only to instantly regret the decision, as shooting pain came like waves through his skull.

"Jay?" He groaned into his pillows.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Ugh, tone it down about 70% there buddy." He mumbled, rolling himself onto his back, and wiping away the spit that had gathered on his chin through the night. He was truly disgusting. "Time?"

"It's half past 8 in the morning, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S.'s voice levels had been lowered, at least the guy could take an order. Tony tried again to crack open an eye, this time the pain, though still there, was bearable. Once one eye was open he tried the other one, blinking away the sleep that clouded his vision. "How did I get home?"

Tony didn't remember much of the night, he remembers going to the bar, and that's about where it starts getting fuzzy. - Scotch! there was scotch involved. Okay, his memory was getting a little bit better. At least he was at home, in his own bed, and as far as he could tell he was alone in his own bed, that that was a plus. 

"Captain Rogers brought you home last night Sir."

Tony racked his brain for any memory of that, but there was nothing. He sighed loudly into his room, guess no memories meant no bad memories, so at least he could assume he had a good time, and if it was a bad time, well he wouldn't remember anyways. With a groan, Tony forced himself up and out of bed, stopping to pull his phone out of his discarded jeans on the floor as he made his way to the bathroom. First thing first, he would have a shower, and then he could down half a bottle of painkillers with a very large, very black cup of coffee, before heading to the shop to complete some upgrades before he got his ass kicked. Natasha had been bugging for upgraded gauntlets for weeks now, and he had promised to get them done.

He flicked through his phone as he started his shower, kicking off his boxer shorts as he did, last made phone call '2:47 am to Cap'. At least he had the bright idea to call someone with enough sense to get him home, safely. Steve was reliable - though sometimes a bit overbearing and a bit controlling, he always came through for his team and his friends, and Tony liked Steve, a lot.

Stepping into the hot shower, letting the hot water wash over him, giving him a false sense of recovery, Tony smiled at the thought of being too drunk to remember Captain America bringing him home. He must have been some drunk, to forget that. He could only imagine the look of disappointment he probably wore when he arrived to get Tony - oh.

"Shit." Tony couldn't see himself, and the hangover probably wasn't helping, but he felt himself go pale, and his stomach twist. "shit, shit _shit._ " Suddenly bits and pieces of his night were coming back, specifically the part where he told Steve his disappointed face was sexy. "Oh my god no."

"Sir?"

"J.A.R.V.I.S!" Tony nearly squealed at the ceiling. "Did I try and sleep with Steve last night?" Silently he crossed his fingers, hoping that the AI would confirm in the negative, no maybe that was a bad dream. He wouldn't cross that line, would he?

"No, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. said and Tony could finally relax, leaning against the cool tile of the shower in relief. Or so he thought. "But you did voice your desire to ride him."

"I'm going to puke." Tony said to no one, but that didn't stop J.A.R.V.I.S. from suggesting he leave the shower to do so. This could not be happening, sure he had thought those things but he never in a million years wanted them to become out loud words in real life. Words he couldn't take back. Words that Steve heard, sober and alert. This was not good, he did not want to ruin his relationship with Steve, a friendship he had to work extra hard in creating in the first place. What if Steve was offended, or insulted, or disgusted. Or worse, actually disappointed in Tony. He wasn't sure he could live with himself.

Tony would need to do some serious damage control if he was going to get ahead of this. He quickly finished washing up, before hopping out of the shower, pulling his towel from the rack and wrapping it around his waist. He grabbed his phone off the counter, punching in a contact before placing it to his ear.

"I don't want to hear it." The voice came through loud and clear, making Tony flinch.

"Hear what?" Tony asked confused.

"Whatever you're calling to tell me." Rhodey said humor lacing his voice. "I don't need to know what trouble Tony Stark got into last night."

"How do you know I even got into any trouble?" Tony put the phone onto speaker once he reached his bed, tossing it on to the bedside table and drying himself off.

"Tony, you're all over the internet drunk off your ass at some bar event from last night." 

"I am not." Tony nearly gasped "How do I look though?"

"Asking the real questions." Rhodey sarcastically spat into the phone. "Eh, You've looked better."

"Ouch." Tony smiled down at his phone, grabbing clean clothes from a drawer in his dresser "Who hurt you honey bear? Who made you so bitter?"

"You." Rhodey laughed. "Now what do you want?"

"Well." Tony paused, pulling his head through his t-shirt. "Now I'm not sure I want to tell you since all you do is judge me."

"That's not all I do." Rhodey defended "I also work for a living and save your ass on the regular."

"And this is why you're number two in my speed dial." 

  
"Who uses speed dial anymore Tones?" Rhodey sighed "And who's number one?"

"Pepper." Tony shrugged. "Obviously."

"Yeah she has had to deal with more shit just simply by sleeping with you." Tony's friend laughed again and it almost made him forget why he called in the first place, almost.

"So, about my problem?"

"OH" Rhodey faked surprise. "So there _is_ some trouble you got into at the bar last night?"

"Well.." Tony frowned, playing with the hem of his shirt, so thankful that Rhodey was not there in person. "It was technically after the bar. You see, Steve came to pick me up-"

"-Did you try and sleep with Cap?" Rhodey asked like it would be the least surprising news he would hear all week. 

"No!" Tony insisted. "Well not technically-" he grabbed the phone taking it off speaker and putting it to his ear again. "But, I may have implied that I wanted to."

"Oh lord." and Rhodey was for sure grinning into his phone right now because his voice was laced in it. "How bad was it?"

"I can't really remember it all, just parts of it." Tony rubbed his forehead. "I honestly can't remember most of the night, just fragments keep coming back to me and they're all bad, Rhodey like sober me would be embarrassed to say to them, bad."

"Yikes." Rhodey had known Tony for long enough to know there wasn't much Drunk Tony could do that Sober Tony wouldn't. Drunk Tony very rarely had regrets. "Now I really want to know what you said."

"It was a lot of.." Tony held the phone with his shoulder as he waved his arms in the air in front of himself. "Innuendos, I think, or - No, I'm not having this conversation with you. How do I fix this?"

"I don't think this is a fixing situation, it's more of an apologizing situation." Rhodey chuckled "Too bad you just didn't remember anything at all."

"That's it!" Tony exclaimed. "You're the best Rhodey. Thank you so much-"

"What? Tony no!" Rhodey protested knowing exactly what Tony had taken from the conversation, but he was cut off by the call being ended.

**\------**

"How are you feeling?" Natasha sat at the kitchen table, flipping through SHIELD Files as she ate a piece of toast. Her bare feet were pulled up onto her chair, and her red hair was pulled up into a bun on top of her head. She offered Tony a smile as he entered the room, she was so domestic sometimes it blew Tony's mind. "I hear you had quite the night."

Tony groaned, the bright lights hurting his face as he shuffled to the coffee machine. "I don't know what you heard but I assure you it was all lies."

"I dunno." Natasha said with a half shrug, looking down to the papers in front of her. "Sounds like you were pretty drunk, Steve said-" 

"What did I say?" Steve stepped into the kitchen, pulling an earbud from his ear, smiling at Natasha from the doorway, clearly having just come in from his morning run. How he managed to look that good and that put together after a run always amazed Tony. Like a windswept model. It was unfair,

"Oh I was just telling Tony how drunk he was last night." Natasha smirked around her piece of toast, obviously catching Tony trying desperately not to stare at Steve.

"Oh." Steve's voice was soft as he looked over to the brunette, though his eyes didn't linger. Of course Tony looked normal, it was like a Stark Superpower to look healthy and happy, even when suffering. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Tony turned to the coffee machine, grabbing a mug from the cupboard above it. "You know, the usual headache, nausea, general feeling of warmed over death." He poured the liquid to the very top of the mug, before lifting it up to his mouth letting out the most satisfied hum he could. "Strangest thing though." He took a long sip, letting the bitterness fill his mouth and calm his soul, before turning around to finally face both of the people in the kitchen with him. "I don't remember much of anything from last night, I don't even know how I got home."

Natasha quirked an eyebrow up at Tony, her green eyes piercing through him, as if she was reading his mind, and knowing he was lying from the second he opened his mouth.

"I brought you home last night." Steve offered, reaching into the fridge to grab some water. "You don't remember anything?"

"Nope" Tony popped his p before taking another swig of his coffee. "But thanks for getting me home. I'm glad I knew to call you." He gave Steve's shoulder a pat as he walked by. "I owe you one-" As the words left his mouth the memory of him saying the same thing last night came rushing over him, and fuck, he quickly pulled his hand back, wrapping both hands tightly around his mug.

Steve's eyes widened only slightly as he looked at Tony, a faint blush coming out of the collar of his too-tight shirt. "N-no" Steve stuttered out, before clearing his throat and quickly trying to save face. "it's fine. Any time. Really."

Tony could only offer a nod before speed walking out of the kitchen, and towards the elevator.

"Well that was interesting." Natasha said, mostly to herself as she looked back down at her files, letting Steve flee as well.

**\------**

Steve sighed as he looked into his closet. Everything looked the same to him. Getting dressed for movie and game night had never been this difficult before, but for some reason this time, he just didn't have anything to wear. Either things were too tight or too loose or just looked wrong. Who was he even trying to impress - _Tony_ \- it was just a night in with his friends,- _and Tony_ \- and for some reason he was feeling nervous. _Goddammit Tony._

Steve had hidden his crush for so long, never thinking that Tony could even possibly be interested in him. Not beautiful charismatic Tony, but the more Steve thought about it the more he realized that those private thoughts that Tony shared had to have come from somewhere, and maybe just maybe he meant them.

He let out another sigh as he flicked back through his hangers, there had to be something in there he didn't already try. His fingers stopped on a shirt, plaid in different shades of blue. A girl once told him that the color blue really made his eyes pop, and Tony _liked_ his eyes. He was truly disappointed in himself, but it was worth a try.

He pulled it over his shoulders, buttoning up the front and checking himself out in the mirror. It looked alright, at least it went with his jeans - he didn't have time to change anyways, already running behind.

**\------**

Sam groaned as he tossed his hand of cards down onto the coffee table in front of himself. "I fold."

"Again?" Bruce shook his head, throwing a poker chip into the center. "I'll Raise."

"Sam's afraid of risk." Clint said around a mouth full of popcorn, tossing a chip into the pile "Call-"

"I am not." Sam pushed himself out of his seat, going to the bar and grabbing himself another beer. "I just know when it's not worth my time or my money to keep going."

"Which is apparently every round." Natasha inspected her cards before tossing her chips in. "Raise." 

"I fold." Tony tossed his cards down, before joining Sam at the bar. 

"She's totally bluffing." Clint narrowed his eyes at the red head, who's face didn't even crack in return, instead she plainly motioned for the archer to make another bet.

"Ok if this is going to end up like last time I'm not playing anymore." Bruce sighed leaning back in his chair, last time Natasha and Clint spent the whole night basically playing chicken with their money - and belongings, just for the night to end with no one knowing what cards either of them had, and an argument that lasted a week until Tony made them have a truce.

"Yeah we still don't know who owns Tony's Lexus." Sam grinned, remembering the night fondly, as he pulled a bottle of beer from the fridge.

Tony rolled his eyes, the night not being remembered as fondly from him, and grabbed himself a Ginger-ale."Tony owns Tony's Lexus."

"Actually I think I own Tony's Lexus." Natasha smirked at Clint who shrugged in return.

"You'd like to believe that, wouldn't you." Clint egged her on.

"You guys, focus" Bruce frowned looking down at his cards before up at the two spies. "I call. Lets see them."

"Flush." Clint beamed setting his cards face up on the table.

Natasha rolled her eyes, mumbling "three of a kind." as she tossed her cards into the folded pile.

  
"Hah!" Clint leaned in wrapping his arms around the chips and pulled them towards himself.

"Royal Flush." Bruce hid his smirk, placing a hand over the pile Clint was about to steal away.

"Cheater-"

"Children." Tony warned before they could start, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I do not have enough pain killers in this tower to deal with this tonight."

"And that is why I stay off the hard liquor." Sam chuckled at Tony, clinking his beer bottle against Tony's Ginger-ale, and shaking his head. "I'll handle them." he offered, heading back to the poker table. "Guys, enough - we don't need the big guy making an appearance we still have a movie and Mario Kart to get through."

"Tired?" Steve's voice caused Tony's head to snap up, damn him and his super soldier skills, you'd figure a guy as big as Steve would at least make some noise when entering a room, let alone someone's personal space. He offered Tony an apologetic smile from across the bar counter, knowing exactly what he did. "Hand me one will ya?"

Tony found himself smiling back from across the bar, allowing himself a moment to notice how the blue in Steve's shirt really brought out the blue in his eyes, they were always blue but depending on what he wore, or where he was, they were different shades, and Tony had never quite seen anything like them, and before he had a chance to get lost in them, he was violently reminded of another one of his brilliant drunk comments.Complimenting Steve's _beautiful_ blue eyes. Tony knew he was blushing now, he had really fucked up and there was no saving himself from it.

  
"Uh- Yeah- Okay." Tony quickly turned towards the beer fridge, yanking it open and wishing he could fit his entire body inside of it."We got beer, soda, water - what did you want?"

"What are you drinking?" Steve asked, leaning over the counter to get a look. "Is that ginger ale?"

"Yeah" Tony grabbed a second bottle from the fridge, praying the cool air had calmed his flushed face. "I am still suffering from last night-" he said honestly turning back aground and offering up the second bottle."I think I might be done drinking forever."

"Forever sounds a bit drastic." Steve took the bottle and twisted off the cap, he could still see the remainder of a blush coloring Tony's cheeks, and wondered for a second if maybe the brunette was a little more aware of the happenings of the night before than he was letting on. "Was it really that bad last night?"

"I'm sure last night was great." Tony spoke quickly, trying to act natural and airy "It's just the parts I don't remember that worry me. Who knows what kind of things I could have done, or.." He took a sip from his bottle, still unable to put together the whole night, but the parts he had were bad enough.

"-Or what you might have said?" Steve cocked an eyebrow finishing the sentence for him. Though he was sure those weren't exactly the words that Tony was going to use. 

Tony swallowed his drink slowly, calculating his next move, the silence dragged on and he wasn't sure if there was going to be a way out if he waited any longer. "Or." Tony spoke carefully. "What I might have said."

Before Steve had a chance to press any further Sam came up behind him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. "Look who finally decided to join us."

"Sorry." Steve caught Tony's eyes with his one more time before looking to Sam."I got a little preoccupied on my way down."

"well we're about to start the movie so if you two would like to join us..." Sam pointed at Tony and then pointed his thumb over his shoulder. "C'mon man get on those controls before Bruce sets everything to Spanish again."

"It was one time!" Bruce protested from the couch, but holding the remote up in the air nevertheless so Tony could come grab it from him.

"Amateurs." Tony scoffed, moving around the bar into the living room and taking the remote from Bruce, and escaping Steve.

Sam spun Steve away from the bar and steered him towards the couch."Hey man are you wearing a button up to movie night?"

Steve glanced down at his shirt "Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No, it's just.."

Sam didn't get a chance to finish as Clint chirped in. "It's pretty fancy for sitting on our asses Cap, got a hot date after this or something?"

"What?" Steve smoothed a hand over the front of his shirt. "No, I'm just wearing a shirt."

"Uh-huh" Clint furrowed his brow, shifting slightly on the couch as Steve sat down. "Did you do your hair too?"

"I-" Steve tried to answer but instead had to swat Natasha's hand away from his head. "What are you doing?"

"There's gel in there." She smirked sitting back against the arm of the couch. "Steve did you get all done up for us?"

"Oh my god." Steve rolled his eyes "I just got dressed I don't know what to tell you."

"You put effort into your look." Clint narrowed his eyes, trying to put the story together. "Just to have a movie night with us?"

Steve shot a glare at Clint "I don't have to explain myself."

"I think you do-" Sam laughed as he plopped himself into an armchair, crossing his ankles on top of the coffee table. "Were you late because you came from a date?"

"There's no date." Steve insisted.

"Who had a date?" Tony asked turning back towards the group, movie previewing on the screen behind him.

"Steve." Clint snorted. "Look at him he wore a dress shirt to movie night."

"And there's apparently gel in his hair." Bruce chimed in. 

Steve let out an exasperated sigh, clearly annoyed by this whole situation, he had crossed his arms over his chest and hunched his back as if trying to hide himself, and disappear in to the couch. How a man with that size, that personality and those looks could be so self-conscious really made him seem human. It was a sight to be seen, and Tony was so glad he was seeing it, but sad that Steve felt the need to hide when he looked that good. He always looked so good.

"You all need to learn to leave Steve alone." Tony stated, unable to stop the soft smile that came to his lips as he looked over the super soldier. "I think he looks nice-" Tony glanced to Barton "and unlike some of you in this room actually put some effort into himself."

"Like you can talk!" Clint spat "You literally have grease stains on your pants."

Tony shrugged "I am an exception, this is my house." He tossed the remote to Clint, who caught it with one hand. "Start the movie Legolas I'll grab the popcorn."

Natasha nudged Clint and nodded her head towards Steve, who was turned watching Tony disappear into the kitchen. She raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows and after Clint had taken a look he raised both of his at her. Bruce squinted, watching them, trying to decode the silent messages they were sending. Natasha raised one shoulder in a shrug and Barton shook his head.

"You gettin' any of that?" Sam leaned in and quietly asked Bruce, having watched the same thing unfold.

"No." Bruce pushed his glasses up his nose, catching a nod from Natasha. "But I'm sure we'll hear about it later."

"Hear about what?" Steve asked, finally snapping his attention back to the room and not Tony.

"Nothing." Natasha said with ease. "Just thinking I might try and take these boys money one last time before bed."

**\------**

"Wait, so you think Tony and Steve had sex?" Clint frowned thinking about it for another second before shaking his head. "No way there's no way Cap would fall for that."

"I'm not saying they slept together." Natasha spoke in hushed tones, she knew that Steve had gone up to bed hours ago, and Tony after hearing about a second poker game, stuck around a little bit longer before losing three rounds, calling the group cheats, and pouted up to bed shortly afterwards, but they didn't need to be screaming it out loud should one of them decide to come down for a drink, or a rematch. "I'm saying _something_ definitely happened though."

"I think we need a better definition of what constitutes as _something_." Sam chimed in. "and what makes you think that?"

"Is it because Tony said Steve looked nice?" Bruce asked, "Because Tony's pretty much hit on all of us at least once, but he's never used _you look nice_. That's a bit too honest for him." 

"Tony hasn't hit on me." Clint's said offended. "Has he really hit on all of you?"

"Yeah." Natasha said with a shrug.

"Pretty much." Bruce agreed.

"Only once." Sam offered. 

"Well fuck you guys." Clint leaned back into the couch. "I still don't think Steve is the kind to let a drunk Stark do anything with him, let alone sex."

"Oh my god Barton." Natasha threw a throw pillow at him. "I'm not saying they had sex."

"Then what are you saying!" Clint grabbed the pillow slamming it down into his lap frustrated. "Something it basically nothing, unless it's sex." 

"Earlier this morning in the kitchen, Tony nearly choked on his coffee mid sentence." She waited for the guys to notice the obvious issue here, and when they didn't she continued "Tony never chokes on coffee, he could literally inhale it and survive. They were talking about Steve getting him home last night - and Steve blushed."

Bruce leaned in slightly intrigued "What made Tony choke?"

"He was just telling Steve that he owed him one." she shrugged, leaning back into the couch herself. "and now they're being all weird, Steve's dressing up and Tony." She waved her hand in the free air above her. "He's just always weird."

"So what exactly are we getting at here?" Sam asked.

Natasha tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I think Steve has a crush on Tony."

"No way man." Clint shook his head. "Look at Steve and then look at Tony - There's no way."

"I also think-" Natasha glared at the archer for not letting her finish. "That Tony has the hots for Steve."

"No, no no. Tony probably came onto Steve and now Steve is just acting weird because he doesn't know how to turn Tony down." Clint acted like it was the most obvious explanation. "The buttons on his shirt were supposed to deter Tony I'm sure of it."

"I'm out of this conversation, I don't feel comfortable gossiping about someone's personal lives." Bruce gathered his tea mug so he could head up to bed. "I'm going to leave before I can be incriminated in this one."

"I think you're both right, sort of." Sam said after a moment, teetering his hand out in front of him. "like a half and half split between your spy minds."

"I bet I'm fully right." Natasha eyed Barton, challenging him with just a look."Wanna put some money on it?"

"Oh, you're on." Clint and Sam agreed in unison.

"Jinx" Sam said with a laugh. "You owe me a coke-"

"Stark really hit on you and not me?" Clint asked in disbelief.

**\------**

The metal plates of the armor squealed as he banked a corner, maybe a little too tightly, barely an inch from the brick side of a building. "One Sec-" Iron Man huffed into the comms, twisting to his back, and engaging his repulsors, not only sending the ugly green drone crashing to the street below him, but boosting his speed a fraction. "Take that!" He cheered triumphantly.

"Iron Man - Focus!" Cap barked into his ear. 

Tony rolled his eyes within his helmet. "I'm on my way." The Iron Man armor twisted back around, looking down at the city below him, as he weaved himself around buildings. "Who's bright Idea was it to put guns on drones?"

"Technically S.H.I.E.L.D" Clint spoke with heavy breath, climbing up a fire escape to perch on the roof of a building. "But apparently bad guys think it's a good idea too." He pulled back his arrow, piercing a drone right through the middle.

"To be fair." Sam said, swooping in low and shooting two down. "A lot of what they do is also bad guy approved."

"Sometimes you gotta fight dirty." Natasha was smirking, as she headed towards the van where all the armed drones had came from, sneaking up beside it to disarm whoever was inside.

Steve grunted, throwing his shield towards two more drones above him, raining bullets down on him, knocking them both out. "8th street is clear, Widow what's the situation." He scooped his shield up off the ground where it had landed, before taking off towards the white windowless van.

"Van's empty." Black Widow reported. "But we have a bigger problem on our hands, Cap."

Steve was about to ask what when he turned the corner. "Are you serious?" He was extremely unimpressed. 

"SMASH-" Hulk roared and he burst past Captain America, launching himself at the giant drone hovering above the city streets. 

"The stuff bad guys come up with." Clint said with a shake of his head, taking a running start and jumping from one roof to another across a small alleyway. 

"Iron Man?" Steve asked into his ear, not having to explain what he was asking. 

"Yeah- I'm seeing this." Iron Man hovered himself a few blocks away from the drone, letting J.A.R.V.I.S. run a scan of the device and its weapon system, information lighting up his HUD -"Keep your distance looks like it's armed with mini-guns and -fuck-"

Tony kicked in his thrusts and did a barrel spin out of the way as a missile came straight for him, he had managed to move just in time for it to smash into the side of an unsuspecting building.

"Missiles." Iron Man finished, voice tight. "Who the fuck builds a drone this big and adds missiles? We gotta take this thing out before it destroys the west end." 

"Agreed." Captain America spoke looking up at the massive thing trying to figure out his best route up. "Do we see any soft spots?" 

"Yeah - Maybe." Clint's voice sounded out of breath as he climbed up the side of a taller building getting a better vantage point. "But it's probably right smack dab in the middle of that highly weaponized center."

"What will shut it down?" Cap asked, ducking cover as the mini guns fired on him. 

"It's being auto piloted-" Natasha cut in. "I've cut the connection from the van but it's being flown from somewhere else. We need to disable the signal."

Steve peered up into the sky, catching the gold and red armor as it flew above him catching the sunlight in its shiny surface. "I have an idea but," Steve smirked. "Shell head I need a lift."

"Aye aye Captain." Iron man used his thrusters to pull back, looking to the ground to Spot Steve in his bright blue uniform, an easy target, before swooping down low for a pick up. His arm shot out and Cap leaped into it, wrapping his own arms around the shoulders of the Iron Man Suit, something they had done many times, like a second nature to both of them,

Steve held on tighter as the armor banked upwards to get above the drone.

"What's the plan?"Tony asked as they traveled upwards, having to zig-zag slightly when the mini guns spotted him. 

"When we have enough height you need to swing a right and fly me right over that thing-" Steve's voice was a little distorted with the wind as they continued going higher.

Tony took the order, making sure to add a little pizzazz to his direction change, causing Steve to grip onto the suit a bit tighter, he could feel the panels pressing together just that much more when he did, and he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy feeling it, even though J.A.R.V.I.S. would send an alarm notice of possible crushing every time Steve did it. "We're getting close to drop zone." Iron Man said. "Ready?"

Steve nodded in the affirmative, using one hand to hold on to the armor and the other to pull his shield from where it sat on his back. He looked directly into the face plate a little curious how well Tony could see him from inside there, hopeful that he was looking back. "Thanks for the ride, maybe I can reciprocate sometime-" He used all the infliction he could on the word ride and offered a smirk before letting go of Iron Man entirely and letting gravity take over.

Tony just watched shocked, through his face plate as Steve fell. He had been hoping that Steve would let the whole thing go already, like perhaps it could just be a silent thing that they both knew happened but neither would mention, or think about. Clearly that was not the case. Tony frowned watching Cap fall further and further before smashing through the center of the drone. Tony fell so deep into thought that he nearly missed J.A.R.V.I.S. warning him of imminent collision. 

He was a little slow to pull up and skidded against brick before coming free, that was going to leave a mark, both on the suit and his dignity.

"Did anyone else see that?" Clint laughed into the coms.

"You saw nothing, Barton!" Tony clipped, twisting himself in the air and then heading back down to the now destroyed super drone, and his teammates.

"Su- Sure." Clint replied gasping for air between his burst of laughter.

"Everything okay over there Shell head?" Cap asked, 

"Yeah Yeah." Tony came to a hover just above the ground "Slight malfunction wing head, I'm good."

Steve gave him a nod, sliding his shield onto his back. "the clean up crew will be here shortly, do one more pass just to make sure they're all deactivated and then head back to the tower, we'll debrief there." Tony gave a two fingered salute through the armor before taking off and heading directly back to the tower.

**\------**

Tony sighed down at his armor, the scuffs and scrapes could be removed and repaired, but he had another problem. A bigger, Steve shaped problem. He ran his fingers along one of the deeper cuts into the suit and frowned. They had been doing so well, and then he had to go ahead and open his big mouth. It had always been a problem, Pepper had warned him numerous times, he should learn to think before he spoke, and drink less.

He really should have listened to her. But no, he just had to go ahead and keep talking without thinking and drinking. Scotches, never again, he told himself. Never again. As a distraction he ran a scan of his suit and had J.A.R.V.I.S. display the results above him, and the desk. The damage on the suit was of course nothing a few hours of hard work couldn't fix, but the damage to his pride would take longer.

"That looks rough." The voice, which normally would have startled Tony, caused him to sigh instead, and he refused to acknowledge him. "I'm sorry about that.." Steve added.

"Steve." Tony pried his eyes off of his armor to look at the blonde. He was still in his Captain America outfit, the cowl had been pulled off leaving his hair in disarray, but the dirty torn suit remained, as did the dust and dirt painting Steve's white cheeks. "What do you want from me?"

"I came to see if you were alright Tony." Steve stepped into the workshop, pulling his gloves from his hands. "I really didn't think I would get that kind of reaction out of you, but I just needed you to know."

Tony's eyebrows knotted together as he watched Steve carefully. "Know what?" he wanted to play dumb, but he knew it was bad advice the second Rhodey gave it to him, yes, definitely all his _friends_ fault for this and he would be hearing about it later. "Look I'm sorry, okay, I still don't remember the whole night, honestly, but the stuff I do remember, I'm sorry. If I could take it back, I would." he pulled a hand down his face. "I am so embarrassed, no one was ever supposed to hear those things."

Steve looked confused as he came up to the work table. "Tony, I don't want you to take them back. Unless of course, you didn't mean them, I just wanted you to know, that I knew."

"Alright, hold up." Tony held a palm up with one hand, carding a hand through his hair with the other. "I am so confused Steve, please, help me out here. Spell it out."

"Tony, I really like you too." Steve shrugged and then he waited. Waited for the moment to come back to Tony.

The recognition flashed across Tony's face and then he sighed again. "Oh my God, did I even shut up at all that night?"

Steve laughed. "What do you remember?"

"Don't make me do this." Tony pleaded as he looked over at his friend, but Steve's face stayed neutral and Tony knew it was going to come out one way or another. "I remember complimenting your eyes, and oh-" Tony cringed. "Your disappointing face, uh and.. of course the whole ride - thing - you know lets not do this."

"Tony." Steve sighed. "Did you mean the things you said?"

At that Tony frowned. "Well duh, have you seen yourself Steve?"

"I'm pretty cute, huh?" Steve asked with a quirk of his eyebrow, causing another memory to flash through Tony's head. "Cute enough to woo?"

"Dear god why didn't you just shut me up." He complained into his palms as he hid his face from the world.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Steve asked coming around the side of the work table. 

"That would have gone well." Tony said, finally pulling his hands away from his face. "Hey Steve, I know we've struggled to play nice, and finally have some semblance of a friendship, but I find you just like, the most attractive human being on the planet, can we just go somewhere alone so I can see you naked and maybe kiss you or whatever, you know - Oh yeah- that would have gone -."

"Okay." Steve said with a small smile and the shrug of one shoulder. "Should we go now, or?"

"Steven." Tony was not playing around, and narrowed his eyes at the blonde. "You're not funny."

"You know, for what it's worth, I think you're really attractive too." Steve leaned forward into Tony's space. "I can't promise you flowers and radio songs, but I'd definitely like to kiss you."

Tony opened his mouth to reply but quickly closed it, looking somewhat like a stunned guppy, and Steve took that as answer enough, cupping Tony's face in his hands before catching the brunettes lips with his own. The kiss was slow and gentle, and eventually Tony came out of his daze and kissed back.

"Oh Fuck off!" Clint's voice tore through the room, making Steve and Tony jump back and glare at the archer in the door way. "Now I owe Natasha AND Sam money, Fuck you both." Clint threw his arms up in the air before pointing an accusatory finger in Tony's direction. "And fuck you in particular, what the hell man, You hit on everyone but me,I'm definitely more attractive than Sam, What gives."

"What?" Tony asked, glancing stunned between Steve and Clint.

"We should have buried him when we had the chance." Steve said with a roll of his eyes, Tony couldn't have agreed more.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello you beautiful human beings. Thank you for reading. This was just a little fluff crack that I just had to get out of my system. Hopefully someone, somewhere enjoyed it.  
> I am on tumblr if you'd care to come find me idkbatman.tumblr.com


End file.
